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Julia's Ordination
Decoration on New Stole made by Lilian
10 years ago I asked my Faith and Worship Tutor, Rev’d Jenny Dyer, why she had become a minister. And aside from being called to be God’s servant, she replied because it was the way that God had chosen to perfect his work in her, developing aspects of her character that would never have been touched, if she had remained where she was in her career as a lawyer.
I can remember thinking that it was a sort of Lion King, Mufasa – Simba moment “Look inside yourself Simba – you are much more than you have become.” But then contemplated that Methodism, would more likely refer to it as fulfilling the 4th statement of the 4 Alls of Methodism – All may be saved to the uttermost and talk about it in terms of growth in grace and holiness.
So what are the raw materials that I bring to the table and what has God begun to transform in me.
The first aspect I bring is a visual spirituality. I see my theology. When I see Jess my dog running at full pelt with her ears flying out behind her, delighting in her athletic ability, I see John 10:10, I have come that you will have life and have it abundantly.
When I am at the underpass at the Swan Island at the top of our road where Jess and I sometimes walk, I see a metaphor for our spiritual life, a steeply curving path, with broken glass on the way but light at the end of the tunnel.
When I see the store cupboard at Lyndon, I see the cross for this is the place where our competing interests meet. In a building that is used to the extent that Lyndon is we are significantly short on storage and space and the only way that we have a shared life together is by living sacrificially. The store cupboard is the place where our levels of selfishness are challenged.
The other qualities I bring are honed by my parents. My Mother instilled in my sister and I an evangelical faith and a belief that faith without works missed the point. We were to work to make a difference, engaging in socially transformative action. My sister is a teacher in Sheffield and preaches at a community house church. I went into social work where the under current of all the work that I undertook was in gaining an understanding with regard to violence. I understood early on with the help of a bright 7 year old, beaten by her father after Coventry City lost at home, that violence is often blind to the focus of its arousal and exposing the process of scapegoating would be a reoccurring theme.
I was very grateful to Pauline Warner, and the staff at Queens, Tony McClelland and Peter Kevern, who enabled me to make theological sense of what I had experienced, listening to the stories of child victims by introducing me to the work of Renee Girard. I was able to make links with their stories and that of the passion narrative and the exposing of Christ’s scapegoated death, that ultimately would bring about restorative action.
If my Mother provided the context of faith, my father gave me my understanding of feminism. He might have initially preferred the idea of sons with whom he could share football and cricket, but he always gave his daughters an experience of being loved unconditionally and that they had the right to achieve - to be Somebody rather than Nobody, to quote the title of another favourite book of mine (Anthony Reddie.)
And so I could have happily continued in social work but Jenny was right, God does call us to be renewed and transformed. Anthony Gormley’s 3D sculpture, entitled Becoming Material, epitomises this. The shape of the figure is formed by swirling metal, which represents the energy generated by the encounters that we have with God; with others; with the world that moulds and shapes us – so it has been for me.
Margaret Jones (Growing in Grace and Holiness), calls this the circle of acting, telling, listening, and reflecting with ourself, with the Christian tradition, with companions on the way – that the Spirit works to bring the believer into closer union with Christ.
And so began, my journey with Sam into Methodism that was to lead eventually to ordination. In my early 30s with 2 young children a brush with cancer that left Sam looking after us all, left us wanting to deepen our faith.
Beth’s desire to go to Sunday School lead us to attend the Methodist church that was at the top of our road at Woodside. There, feeling somewhat apprehensive, we sat on the back row and listened to the Revd Morrit Mayle speak. Morrit at this time was in his 90s crippled with arthritis in his hands. I can remember thinking that you didn’t need to be perfect if you worshipped here.
He spoke about God’s grace. It wasn’t what we thought about God that was important it was what God thought about us that mattered. It wasn’t so much that we reached out to God but that he had reached out to us first. It wasn’t so much that we had to do anything, but rather that God’s prevenient grace went before us.
With this assurance of faith we began to relax and might happily have continued in junior church except that 1 day Rev Barbra Marshall turned up.
She had 4 children, a husband who worked and in the midst of a busy life she acted sacramentally on a Sunday morning. When I saw her break the bread I knew that I felt called to do the same – to meet people’s spiritual needs by being part of the ritual of providing food for their journey.
This lead to candidating and eventually being stationed in the Elmdon Circuit. If college I took in my stride, it is true to say that leaving the security of work and being a rookie probationer disturbed my equilibrium far more than I could have anticipated.
The first advent liturgy written 3 months into stationing entitled the Upside down Christmas Tree reflected the high level of disorientation that we experienced at the time. I contemplated the disorientation that God might have experienced accepting limits, coming as vulnerable and dependent and texts such as those found in 2 Corinthians had particular resonance that spiritual maturity comes not from human achievement but rather dependence on God’s grace.
The second point of significance was a deepening experience of the importance of the body of Christ as expressed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 12 and that the process of becoming transformed into the likeness of Christ, was not so much an individual process but a corporate activity with each having their significant part to play.
And in all of this I began to be moulded and formed too.
If my natural state of being was to be a spontaneous blue sky thinker having at least 10 good ideas before breakfast, now I value just 1 good idea with a coherent and achievable plan attached that we can achieve together. Ideally with a beginning, middle and end and maybe with God’s spirit, a process of review and feedback at the end. That for me now would be perfection. .
From my time at Lyndon, seeing the highly effective uniformed organisations at work, the lunch club, Women’s Fellowship, the stewards team...I now say......
Blessed are the administrators because they like the spirit brooding in Genesis 1, bring order out of chaos.
Blessed are the planners, for they like Joseph in Egypt, can facilitate a move away for famine towards a time of plenty.
Blessed are those that pay attention to detail and the small print for they like Moses, are a safe pair of hands, ensuring that the whole communities interests are served.
Blessed are those that understand the importance of hospitality and the making of good shortbread, because they like Jesus can pull a team together.
The photograph on the screen is of the cake made for our 50th anniversary at Lyndon. Amen.
Julia Monaghan June 2009.